Why I Quit Photography
Chapter 1. The Beginning
When I got my first camera:
I got my first camera from my parents when I was 15 years old. Initially, my mom had bought the camera with the intention to use it herself, but I ended up borrowing it more often than anticipated.
My first photography interest:
My first interest was animal photography. My first vacation with a camera in hand was to Animal Kingdom in Disney World.
Chapter 2. Getting Into It
When I created my Instagram page:
When I came back from that vacation, my parents noticed my interest in photography and offered to let me attend a photography course at an arts school, which I accepted. In this course, I was taught the basics of camera settings, composition, and lighting. At the time, I thought it would be a great opportunity to showcase the skills I had been privately working on, particularly editing.
What I disliked (industrial look of commercial art in Panama):
While there, I noticed that I didn't like the commercial feel that the course seemed to be oriented towards. So, I dialed in on my creative photography as a form of protest, mimicking what I saw on social media in other parts of the world.
What I wanted to accomplish (a community in Panama or be part of one):
I created a social media account to store my photography as a portfolio or gallery. I quickly realized I wasn’t the only one in Panama with an artistic purpose behind their photography, and it became my goal to be part of this community.
Chapter 3. Freedom
Time passes, I graduate high school, and the greatest part of my life (so far) began:
My best friends and I were all studying abroad, but we had almost a year between the end of classes in Panama and the beginning of university. We made the most of it. I wish I went on more trips, but I attended every one I could, missing only when there was no other option.
My two best friends:
One was a longboarder and overall active freak (inherited from his dad and grandad). The other was a creative like me, working on photography and videography. Together, we joined longboard trips filled with good friends, fun, photography, camping, music, and unforgettable memories. We even dreamed of making a longboard film.
My first student:
In university (Panama), a stranger approached me and confessed they loved my photography and were inspired by it. Flattered, I offered my help. It felt unreal to be known for my photography in such a small city. This student, determined and eager, eventually surpassed me in skill, a humbling yet inspiring experience.
Chapter 4. Coming Up
Sike, not in photography (although I thought I would):
I moved to Canada to start university. The previous term in Panama was just a warmup as no credits transferred.
My first real recognition:
In Canada, I began hiking and photographing landscapes. Somehow, within three months, a local magazine reached out to feature my work. It felt surreal.
My last student:
My roommate approached me to learn photography. I taught him, but he didn’t invest in learning to edit and eventually used my presets without boundaries. This experience taught me the importance of setting limits.
Chapter 5. Coming Down
Then something happened:
My inability to set boundaries led to feelings of unworthiness in photography. Someone I taught offered to hire me, but my fragile ego couldn’t handle it. I felt like I could never be the best, and gradually, I stopped taking pictures. Attempts to return failed as I hadn’t yet become my own source of fuel.
Chapter 6. Looking Inside
Realizing I needed to love myself:
Ego isn’t something "I" need right now. My only fuel was seeking quick praise and validation from loved ones. I learned that I need to love what I do to provide validation for myself.
Chapter 7. Rising Again
Finding new interests:
Subconsciously, I began gravitating toward what I used to love: YouTube, video games, music, anime, skateboarding, swimming, photography, making videos, and science.
